I keep telling people I’m “retired,” but honestly? It still feels exactly like summer break. Just… longer. As in, the longest summer ever.
You’d think after decades in education, my body would know the difference between “July freedom” and “you actually don’t have to go back in August.”
But no.
Every morning I wake up expecting that telltale flutter in my chest… the quiet mental checklist of meetings, walkthroughs, agendas, and responsibilities.
Instead, nothing. Just the soft, strange realization:
Oh. Right. This is my first attempt at retirement.
Summer That Never Ends
Let me be clear: I’m not complaining.
There are parts of this “forever summer” that I am embracing with full, unapologetic enthusiasm:
- No alarm clock.
- No makeup.
- No “professional clothes” (whatever those were… I’ve fully forgotten).
- An alarming number of weekday PJ days… a freedom I never knew I needed.
But there’s also this odd internal clock that refuses to reset.
After a lifetime of school-year cycles, my brain keeps insisting,
Any day now… we go back.
Except we don’t.
Not this time.
My Secret: I Haven’t Really Left School
Which brings me to my confession:
I cannot stay off LinkedIn.
I scroll through it like a retired detective scrolling old case files, muttering, “Ah, yes, I remember that initiative…”
I feel like a Peeping Tom in the international-school community, quietly watching from the bushes while everyone shares learning highlights, leadership reflections, new jobs, updated titles, conference photos, PD takeaways, mentoring moments.
Everyone else is in the proverbial “staff room,” buzzing with the energy of a new academic year.
And I’m standing outside the window like,
“Oh wow, look at that inquiry-based learning celebration! Good for them!”
I’m not in it anymore, but goodness, I still love it. And I can’t seem to walk away from it completely, or even partially.
Lost-ish, but Fine-ish
So how’s retirement going?
Honestly: a mixed bag.
Some days, I feel unmoored, like I left the dock but forgot to bring the paddles.
There’s no calendar telling me where to be, what to do, or who needs me.
And as silly as it sounds, that can feel a little… lonely.
Or aimless.
Or like I’m waiting for school to start again after a really, really long July.
But then there are the other days… the ones when I think,
“Oh wow, this is actually lovely.”
When the coffee tastes better than it ever did at 6:00 a.m.
When the day unfurls slowly.
When I remember that the whole point of this “longest summer ever” is to rest, reset, rethink.
And, maybe most importantly, to just be.
Retirement or Rewirement?
Part of me wonders whether I’m even doing retirement right.
Is it supposed to feel like this?
Is there a handbook? (And if so, does it come with rubrics?)
But maybe this is what a first attempt is supposed to be:
a gentle, sometimes awkward experiment in re-learning yourself outside of job titles and school-year rhythms.
Maybe this “longest summer ever” is the season I needed without ever knowing it –
a season to soften, slow down, and wander a little.
A season to unlearn urgency.
To rethink purpose.
To rediscover curiosity without having to turn it into a workshop, slide deck, or strategic plan.
For Now, I’m Letting Summer Last
I don’t know what comes next.
I don’t even know how long this first attempt at retirement will last.
Knowing me, I might press “rewind” and jump back into something new before long.
But for now?
I’m living inside the longest summer ever… pajamas, coffee, LinkedIn lurking, and all.
And maybe that’s not just okay.
Maybe it’s exactly right.
prairielearning 